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Lost pages of my Note-Book

The Quiet Speaker

Love is never enough.

Down he goes,
heart in hand.
sweet slow knife,
and drops of blood on sand.

pain inside the broken ribs,
nothing more gracious but wine and grief.
dancing angels summoning devil,
searching for an escape to relief.

Hunting hopes and happiness to kill,
for bridges burnt down to shaded snow.
promises and words; just jumbled lies,
ever does her hear aches,
and soul begs for cries?

Suffering.

What else the world has to offer?
if not suffering and pain.
The pain is inevitable.
and suffering is optional.”
they said.
but sometimes,
sometimes suffering is necessity.
sometimes suffering is inevitable.
sometimes suffering makes us numb.
sometimes suffering is the only choice.
sometimes.

Lost.

He let his heart burn,
one last time.
for the soul trapped to be free.
thousand tears and infinite scars,
rolling down at hour three.

whiskey smokes,
and mind palace to wander,
trying to find what was never lost.
happiness inside the shell of darkness,
for each smile comes at a cost.

Oh my love.

Tell me; Oh my love,
did you feel the pain too?
or was it just me,
befriending the pain,
and hiding with it away from world.

Tell me; Oh my love,
did you feel the hollowness in your soul?
as you walked out,
while i was bleeding my knees,
for you to stay and you never looked back.

Tell me; Oh my love,
did your heart skip a beat?
reading my words,
with fragrance of wilted rose,
that once made you smile with tears.

Tell me; Oh my love,
do you ever miss me ?
when you walk under the stars,
shadows hiding beneath your feet,
listening our favorite song.

Heavy heart.

Wandering down the path of life,
Surviving as it may.
here comes the season of fall,
And her feelings turned to clay.
warmth of love that once healed all wounds,
now engraving new scars deep in soul.
must a heart always feel the pain,
crushed and crumbled, making it whole.

What our love story would have been,
with no lies and treason.
for each stab on my back,
had justification with just enough reason.
embracing sweet knife laced with wine,
red was the color, as of rain.
keeping all her burn as close as i can,
hope to enlighten some darkness in my vein.

Peace. :)

Storms of the silent waves,

and the loudest sound of silence.

Few miles off the shore of town,

and cold wind embracing skin’s soul with grace.


A hand to hold and a heart to keep,

to hold my love and a scene not to miss.

Diving the ocean of moments with her by my side,

and admiring the breath of sun before it decides to hide.


Watching the foggy smoke flowing amidst the air,

the peaceful shades of orange all over the sky,

next to me was a shoulder i cried on,

and covered red carpet with my secrets covered in roses.


holding and keeping, she’s walking slow,

every step she’s taking, she’s thinking more,

dreaming of days wishing to turn real,

hoping flames of their illusions won’t let them heal.


what love is not if the smile on her face,

that seeks the window through her cheeks,

and the sparks that i wish to keep,

on your smile as the route to my peace.


 

Moved on

My favorite distraction and my worst daydream,

You managed to hurt me down for way too deep.

I will never get to know,

How can u still haunt me at nights?

When I convince myself all day long,

That it’s been way too long and you’ve moved on,

And now she’s a past and that you were left far behind.

I guess that’s where your magic lies,

Hunting me down so deep in the forest;

Of my own world,

Where sun hasn’t touched ground in decades;

Wounding my bare heart with your love,

That it will burn the forest of self worth down,

Burning each last bit of being original me,

And turning into ash that followed you out of this messed up and burnt forest.

Of all the greatest mysteries,

You will remain my favorite one,

Asking myself every time a star sparks,

How did you manage to make me fall so hard for you?

How did I survive the fall?

But it doesn’t matter now, does it?

When you’re so happy that I am afraid to come near you,

When I have stayed in darkness so long,

The sparks of your eyes will blind me again.

Maybe I will just walk away and won’t turn around,

And will pretend to be the strong guy who’s on his own.

But hey, I’ve moved on,

So what if sometimes my heart aches when I hear your name,

I’ve moved on,

Maybe in some years I will forget how you even look,

Maybe tomorrow I will forget the way you smiled,

When first time you held my hand,

So what, if for now,

I remember how your eyes used to light up after meeting me.

I promise I will forget it,

Maybe tomorrow, maybe in coming years,

Maybe I will find someone to share all those moments again,

Maybe she will also hate me later,

Like the way you feel now,

But right now all that matters is,

I’ve moved on.

I apologize,

I will be bothering you with my words,

Every time I feel my heart skipping beat,

Over all those memories that we’ve had,

Till I move on.

But hey, I’ve moved on. 🙂

The battle

Searching peace amidst the chaos,

And setting fire to his world,

Holding bridge for her to cross it safe,

And burning it from other end.

Stretching hands for her to hold it once,

And then pushing​ her miles away.

Screaming loud for the love of her,

And cutting his throat to make no sound.

Destructive war of heart and mind,

And pushing her away to keep her safe.

Apology

Łukasz Kowalewski_Sketch_akZiSA

Those fake words that I spoke,

Trust me I meant all those.

When I said you’re my life,

I mean it whether dead or alive.

I love you my heart can’t explain how much,

I fell completely fine with your one touch.

Et tu thought I don’t love you,

I do much more than you feel me to.

I mistreated you out of every second,

I was a devil and now am a monster vacant,

No changes from past a year,

Just hurt you twice thousand more my dear.

I lost all feeling and respect from your heart,

That was not your mistake, consequences to hurt.

I probably was just so bad,

I deserve this pain, even more than that.

About three thousand chances that I took,

In three hundred days at past when I look.

Saw no changes in devil’s act,

As same as I was in thorny pack.

You always loved me more than you,

What I returned was thorny dew.

Unintentionally I hurt you a lot,

Like you my enemy that you’re not.

You tolerated me to an extreme level you did,

Even if I get on my knees and bleed, I can’t repay it…..

 

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